Golf. (Credit: Soheb Zaidi/Unsplash)
Parenting is tough, and that is an understatement. You have no clue if you are doing it right. As much as you want control over the decision making and future of your kids, in the end you are almost totally helpless. As the great poet Kahlil Gibran said “Your children are not your children…they come through you but not from you.”
What does this have to do with golf? Not much, I just wanted to look smart by quoting Gibran. However, I think I did hit a parenting win when my sons took me golfing for my birthday! How lucky can a dad get? Now it did take 24 years for this to happen, which isn’t too bad considering they could have just gotten me a box of balls and a Rhoback shirt. Instead I got a wonderful 18 at Jeffersonville Golf Course, my personal favorite, and a course I will gush about more in the weeks to come.
For years I tried to get my boys into golf without actually paying for rounds of golf and lessons. Subtle living room kidnapping during Masters weekend, numerous trips to mini-golf and pitch and putts, hand-me-down clubs. None of it worked in giving them the golf bug. Honestly, it was a blessing because paying for one poorly played round of golf is expensive enough. Paying three times as much for poorly played golf is madness.
Is the love of golf genetic or learned? Like all other passions, it’s probably a little of both. As much as I tried to make the love of golf a learned behavior with my kids, I never could succeed. They needed to find it on their own. Usually that happens in college, and so it did with my sons. I’m guessing it was a drunken 18 on a Saturday afternoon with their fraternity brothers that started their addiction. Whatever it was, something clicked and now they are all in.
The main difference between my love of golf and theirs is the gambling aspect. I’m not a big gambler, and definitely not on my golf game. Making a 3 foot putt is hard enough. Now you’re telling me missing it could cost me $20! Forget that! But my sons love the added pressure. Frankly, a lot of golfers love the gambling aspect of golf. Certainly, the accessibility of gambling in the last 7 years has expedited the gambling mindset, especially with a bunch of young men in the early 20’s. My boys fall right into that wheel house, so the round was filled with financial highs and lows.
Fortunately, even with the wagering, the round wasn’t taken too seriously. When everyone is a 30 plus handicap and spraying balls all over the course it’s hard to take the round too seriously, even with money on the line. The truth is we don’t get to play that much. If I play once a week I’m lucky. Golf is a game that requires persistence and practice to improve. Each of us had moments of greatness, and those moments were appreciated that much more because we don’t play a lot. Those great swings and made putts also keep you coming back despite the many terrible shots.
As our kids get older, spending quality time with them gets more and more difficult. Thanks to golf I had a whole day to enjoy their company. Golfing with your kids is a blessing at any age, but as opportunities fade and they move on with their lives, it’s nice to know we have a game we can play together for an afternoon to stop that clock from moving just for a bit.
(The Back Nine is a biweekly op-ed column submitted to North Penn Now, courtesy of Edward Levine. The views expressed are his own and are not representative of North Penn Now or Montgomery County.)
